Friday, September 27, 2013

Slacker

     I have to admit. I have been a big time slacker lately.
     I mentioned how I was having hauntings from my book that kept me up. Well, I wrote about a paragraph just to get them to stop. And I haven't written since. If I keep this up; my book will never be finished, and I will be haunted again. I don't want either of those to happen. So I really need to step up my game.
     Also, I need to really work on my time management skills. It is so difficult running a home with two rambunctious kids and be my creative self. Google here I come! I have to find a better way to plan my life or it is going to plan itself without me.
     Lets see. I really don't know quite what to say at this moment. My kids are going crazy. And I am concerned about the life of the couch if they continue their sofa-harassment. So I am going to leave you all with a short little story. Just to appease you and keep you wanting more.

    
Black Velvet

It wasn't like it would last forever. There were only twenty three beautifully luring masterpieces to fasten my sights upon for hours on end. So why do I feel so low and ashamed of my true state of being? Am I really that pathetic in nature that I would stoop to dwelling on or in some other dreamer's fantasy? I recall a day when my life was full of adventure. There were some that claimed I was loco and should be contained. If only I remained so wild and free that I could live in some world beyond my own reality all my days. Yet it is beaten out of you when you are still young and helpless. That world slips away. Leaving despair and misery in its absence. At times I still find a small part of that world lingers, clinging to my soul like frail fibers of a silky web weaved by a mist dwelling delicate spider. He comes from that world. And he will always stay by my side. I can feel his presence, and sometimes his warmth. Though he is not, well, real... in a tangible sense. But he is there calling to me, soothing me, stirring feelings in my heart, and placing never ending wishes in my mind. My breath catches in my chest when I feel his presence about me. I shiver with his non-existing breath on the nape of my neck. Bumps caress my skin when he speaks in his slow whisper. Fantasies can be dangerous. They make you want things. They make you crazy with want. And what do you do with those feelings unquenchable and overpowering. Feelings so hot you get a fever for nights. Feelings so deep you feel your lungs struggle for air. Feelings so perfect. It is all you can do to close your eyes and let him take over. For once your eyes close and your body, mind, and soul soften to the dark stage that awaits, you are his. He controls you. Your feelings, rage, passion, fear, sadness, lust, determination, anything you feel belong to him. You are his puppet, a toy he grasps with his powerful but enticing grip. A doll that he talks to, dresses, undresses, plays with, and touches, that is what you are. But there could be worse things. He gives you a world of fantastical sensations. Would you rather the life you live? The weight of too many fast food meals, the pale blemished body you are caged in, the raspy voice, the difficult hair, the uncontrollably painful memory of your past. You would give up Him, for that? No, I say. He is everything, and he can have me. And I freely say, take me into your arms and never let me go. And my eyelids will forever drape me in black velvet.

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