Connections

Been working on my social media platforms lately and let me tell you, connecting is hard work. I have never been the best at connecting with others. In fact I often rate relationships as easy to manage and too much effort. Can we guess which ones I steer clear of. If I met someone that demanded full attention, required finesse when engaged in conversation, and/or was constantly needing... something. Nope. It wouldn't work for me. 

Now if you introduce me to someone that is easy to talk to, never gets offended by miniscule trifles (that personally I find make a friendship worthwhile... all those little nothings), and the relationship thrives despite lack of constant care. That is my type of relationship. Just consider me a lover of cacti. Beautiful specimens, low maintenance. 

But that isn't the case with social media. Social media is all about the maintenance! If you don't post, reply, share, update, and practically live on those sites, all your hard work dies! I can work hard on getting my tweets, peeps, snaps, flicks, picks, etc.… up to date and snazzy. Then two days of life hits me. I get back on the pages and Poof! I'm history.

I know there are sights you can set up that will do updates and posts while you are away, but doesn't that defeat the porpous… lol....just kidding... purpose.

You know, sometimes I wish social media was like a cactus. Less is more sort of thing. Instead I think social media is more inline with an orchid (I can never keep those things alive) or worse... a bonsai tree, which takes years and years to develop. Lots of nurturing and grooming. The perfect eye for what the tree can become. Some master skills at creating adorable little tree swings and benches and flowing rivers and.... sigh. 

I could just chalk it all up to a "Someday" statement. "Someday, I will be able to have a beautiful bonsai tree and miniature garden-scape."... "Someday, my orchid will be perfectly beautiful and healthy." "Someday, I will have a successful social media platform!" But we all know how those "Someday" statements usually turn out. 

For now I guess I will stick with my leathery skinned desert flora relationships and keep on trying to be a bonsai master!

What is comfort?

At this very moment I am looking at my cat. Her soft reddish-grey fur gently moving with each of her sleeping breaths. If only, I think to myself, if only I could sleep that soundly in a box three times smaller than myself.
It's funny. My cat can sleep anywhere. How can she do that? Even when I get in my big cushy plush bed with a thick quilted mattress and ample pillows, I struggle to calm my mind and sleep. Yet here is this fur baby making due with what would appear to be a very uncomfortable situation.
But that might be it, the solution to the problem. Maybe placing yourself in the most comfortable, undeniably relaxing, position isn't best for you.
I have read before that the human body/mind only wants to change when it is in more pain where it is at, thus making change seem less painful. I don't know how that would work for sleeping, but in life that might be the way to live.
The last little while we have been battling a very unfriendly gathering of bedbugs. We are unsure of how or when these wee beasties came into our home, but they are here. And only through the battle with these miniscule monsters have we started to understand how cluttered our life has been. The material things that we have gathered are starting to become less important the more we are eaten alive at night. Gradually we begin to shed off the useless possessions that contain multitudes of bugs. Perhaps it is for this purpose that bedbugs were made. To give people the chance to understand, stuff is not worth it. The important things in life are not stuffed or cushy. They are not big and bulky. Nor are they common things you would think are necessary. They are your children, your partner, you, and yes... the sleeping grey cat that finds the most comfortable place in the home is one that is not the right size. Just something to think about.

Update to date

Been trying to play catch up the last few days. It has been a difficult year for me so far, but I am determined to end with a bang! 

I'm still writing with Fiction Vortex. They are joining up with Story Shop now and I am certain they will change the reading/writing industry. I am just glad that I am apart of this movement.

Our family has gotten bigger. My new baby girl is such a spark in my sometimes dark existence. I am so happy to have her happy and healthy with her three siblings. Of course now I can't use my slogan "Military spouse mamma of three, trying to change her family tree, through writing." Just going to have to come up with something new and exciting.

I have good news about my depression as well. For so long it was just apart of me. Now I can see it fading. I tried a newish treatment for depression. Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) is what it is called. A procedure that uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain. I wasn't sure if it would work to be honest. But with all the medications I have been on and the misery of living with depression growing, I decided to go with it.

I am glad I did. I may not notice big differences, but I have been told I laugh and smile more often, I enjoy things more, and I have gotten a bit more desire to do things. Hey, every little bit helps. I just didn't want to always be sad around my kids. Well anyone for that matter.

This will have to do for now. I know it is short and there wasn't much fun, knowledgeable insights shared. But I have a lot of stories I am working on, and we all know you would much rather read some great tales than hear me rant about something.